SK Rossi (right), Director of Advocacy and Policy, ACLU of Missouri
My sister is a moderate Democrat. My mom is a Republican. They had the same reaction when I told them about SJR 39 – the proposed constitutional amendment that would allow businesses and other organizations to deny services to same-sex couples.
“How could anyone think it is okay to do that to you and Kylie?”
Kylie is my partner. We have been together for 3 years. I asked her to spend her life with me last year and, thankfully, she said yes. Here are a few examples of things that could happen to us if SJR 39 gets on the 2016 ballot and passes.
Kylie could walk into any bakery in Missouri to order our wedding cake. She could talk about what Rossi likes (most people call me by my last name) and order the perfect thing, which I hope would be carrot cake. Then on our wedding day, when the baker comes to deliver the cake and sees that I am, in fact, not a man, the baker can turn right around and walk out with our cake, telling us our marriage is an abomination, and embarrassing us in front of our friends and family. And we would have no recourse.
Maybe we want to adopt or foster a child in a few years, hoping against hope that we can raise a loving and kindhearted child who is in need of a stable home. We could walk into an adoption agency (one that is likely subsidized by state funds) and be told to turn right around and go home, because the children in need there would NOT be placed with a married, same-sex couple.
Say 50 years from now, Kylie and I find ourselves in the difficult position of not being able to physically maintain our home or take care of one another anymore. And maybe we’re childless because we were unable to adopt or foster. We could walk into an independent living or elder care facility (one that is likely subsidized by state funds) and be told, “we do not house same-sex elderly couples, the inn is full.”
These are the things that some Missouri legislators worked so hard to enshrine in our constitution this week, and the things the 8 filibustering democrats worked so hard to prevent. Senate Joint Resolution 39 is not about religion. If it were, it would allow a much greater span of “protections” for businesses and social services. But it does not. It protects one religious belief above all others – an objection to lesbian and gay couples committing themselves to each other through civil marriage, a right now protected by Supreme Court precedent and the United States Constitution.
My first thought when I read SJR 39 was about my parents and my sister. I knew that regardless of differing political beliefs, they would object to a legal right to discriminate against me – and it wouldn’t only be because they love a good wedding. It would be because they know and love me, they know and love Kylie and, to them, a wedding is the obvious cherry on top of our discrimination-free sundae. So where is the disconnect? Do the democrats and handful of sympathetic republicans each know and love an LGBT person? Do the senators who slammed SJR 39 through the senate not know and love an LGBT person? I didn’t actually have time to ask each one of them that question during the 40 hours I spent trying to keep myself awake in the capitol during the filibuster.
But here’s one thing I do know: the vast majority of Americans – over 80% - DO know an LGBT person. We can still stop SJR 39 in the Missouri House of Representatives, but we need those who care about an LGBT person to speak up and do what my mom and sister would do – stand for love and against discrimination. Because we can’t win without you.
The ACLU of Missouri is a non-partisan organization that defends civil liberties and the principles of equality and justice in Missouri through its litigation, legislative and public education programs. https://www.aclu-mo.org/