Show Me My Rights Guide: Allies & Allies-In-Progress

Glossary of Transgender, Nonbinary, Gender Non-Conforming, and Intersex (“TGNCI”) Terms to Know:

• Gender identity: A person’s internal, deeply held knowledge of their own gender. Everyone has a gender identity!
• Gender expression: External manifestations of gender, expressed through a person’s name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, voice, and/or behavior.
• Gender transition (or simply “transition”): The process a trans person undergoes to bring every aspect of their life into closer alignment with their gender identity. This process may include social, legal and/or medical steps. There is no one way to transition!
• Social transition – Telling family, friends, and coworkers; using a different name; using different pronouns; dressing differently; etc.
• Legal transition – Changing your name and/or gender marker on legal documents
• Medical transition – Hormone replacement therapy and/or one or more surgical procedures
• Sexual orientation: A person’s enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to another person.
  • Avoid conflating sexual orientation with gender identity!
  • Like everyone else, trans people have sexual orientations. They may be straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, asexual, pansexual, etc.

• Transgender (also abbreviated as “trans”): Someone who identifies as a gender other than the one assigned at birth.
• Nonbinary (also abbreviated as “Enby” or “NB”): An adjective used by people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the binary gender categories of “man” and “woman.”
  • Some nonbinary people also call themselves transgender, but others do not.

• Gender non-conforming (also abbreviated as “GNC”): A term used to describe people whose gender expression differs from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity.
  • Note that many cisgender (not transgender) people have gender expressions that are gender non-conforming. Simply having a non-conforming gender expression does not make someone trans or nonbinary.
  • And not all transgender people are gender non-conforming.

• Intersex: Intersex refers to someone with one or more innate sex characteristics, including genitals, internal reproductive organs, and chromosomes, that fall outside of traditional conceptions of male or female bodies. *See GLAAD’s guide for more information.
• Deadname: The former name that a transgender or nonbinary person no longer uses. You should avoid using someone’s deadname.
• Cisgender (also abbreviated as “cis”): An adjective to describe people who are not transgender (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth and whose gender identity is also male, or someone who was assigned female at birth and whose gender identity is also female).
• Sex Assigned at Birth: Refers to the “sex” marker recorded on a person’s birth certificate at the time of birth. Typically, infants are assigned a sex at birth, “male” or “female,” based on the appearance of their external anatomy.

Terms to Avoid – Examples & What You Can Say Instead:

• Don’t say “Casey is a transsexual.” → Say “Casey is transgender.”
• Don’t say “Riley and Taylor are transgenders.” or “Riley is a transgender.”  →  Say “Riley is a transgender man/woman/person.” or “Riley and Taylor are transgender people.”
• Don’t say “Drew is transgendered” → Say “Drew is a transgender man/woman/person.”
• Don’t say “Sophia is biologically male.”  or “Sophia is genetically male.”  → Say “Sophia was assigned male at birth.”
• Don’t say “Logan is biologically female.” or “Logan is genetically female.”  → Say “Logan was sex assigned female at birth.”
• Don’t say “Charlie transitioned from female-to-male.” → Say “Charlie is a transgender man.”
• Don’t say “Grace transitioned from male-to-female.” → Say “Grace is a transgender woman.”
• Don’t say “Harper’s preferred pronouns are they/them.” → Say “Harper’s pronouns are they/them.”
• Don’t say “Avery was born a man but identifies as a woman.” → Say “Avery is a transgender woman.”

Ask! You can also just use the person’s name or refer to them using gender-neutral pronouns until you are able to confirm their correct pronouns.

Don’t dwell on it! You can just acknowledge your mistake, quickly apologize, and use the person's correct pronouns moving forward.

The most important thing is your intention and taking steps to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.

Check out PROMO’s Advocacy Insider for information on staying engaged and educated about LGBTQ+ rights across the state of Missouri.

You can also use the Trans Legislation Tracker here.

• Donate to and/or volunteer for local trans-led and trans-focused organizations.
• Some examples are: Metro Trans Umbrella Group (MTUG), THISTL (Trans Housing Initiative St. Louis), and Trans Women of Color Collective (TWOCC).
• Educate yourself about what’s going on via free resources like A4TE, Erin In The Morning, LGBTQ Nation, and Movement Advancement Project (MAP).
• Respectfully speak up when you hear someone say something transphobic or spread misinformation about the trans community.
• Add your voice to the ACLU of Missouri's Show-Me Trans, Gender Non-Conforming, & Intersex Missourians Belong Storytelling Project!
• Help us bring the Show-Me Your Rights Tour to your town/city. Learn more.
• Register to vote and speak up against local anti-trans legislation. Learn more and volunteer with PROMO.

Yes! Here are a few to get you started:

• The Dads (2026 – feature) & The Dads (2023 – short documentary)
• Will & Harper (2024)
• Disclosure (2020)

If your question isn’t addressed above, you may submit it to showmemyrights@aclu-mo.org. Submissions are used to develop general guidance for the public and do not constitute individualized legal advice. This inbox is monitored regularly, but due to volume, we cannot guarantee an individual response to every email received.

This is one section of a multi-part guide. You can find the full guide here:

Trans Justice in MO

The ACLU of Missouri's Show-Me Trans, Gender Non-Conforming, & Intersex Missourians Belong Storytelling Project is amplifying stories of joy and allyship from people like you!

• Add Your Voice: Submit our quick Allies Form

Resources TAB

• GLAAD’s Tips for Allies of Transgender People & An Allies Guide to Terminology
• PFLAG’s Guide to Being an Ally to Trans and Nonbinary People & Straight for Equality website
• HRC’s Be An Ally – Support Trans and Non-Binary Equality

If you know someone who has been the victim of discrimination based on their gender expression or identity, please tell them to consider contacting the ACLU of Missouri for help.